Creating Personas
Description
During my placement, one of the children who have autism particularly stood out to me. On a Friday, while I was supervising, I noticed that he didn’t start with a great start in my first week at the school. The teacher had warned me this child, in particular, was not fond of Fridays and tended to have his episodes as he believes that Fridays are bad luck, so I was prepared to handle any upcoming situation as I sat with him, I had a friendly approach. (YW 01, YW18). Soon as he entered the classroom, he threw his bag on the chair and complained about not seeing the date board. Although he knew it was Friday, this was his way of avoiding it and saying he didn’t know. He didn’t sit on his chair until the date board moved. We, therefore, had to move the date board up and accustom to his needs so that he would get on with the day.
This child came back from his break and was very loud within his group regardless of being told to read his books silently. He refused to listen the first two times, and then the 3rd time, I asked him in a professional yet polite manner, saying his full name and requesting him to read his book quietly. (TS 8.2.1, 8.8) I wasn’t aware of the fact that he doesn’t like people saying his surname out loud. Upon hearing his surname, the child dropped whatever he was doing and burst into tears. I asked him if he was okay or wanted to speak about it, but he continues to cry. He came up to me and started being aggressive towards me. I felt terrible, and I didn’t expect to be in the situation. He refused to listen to anything or to listen to any explanation at that moment in time. The teacher told me to leave him be at the time; when I heard him talking to himself questioning his life and his abilities as a child, I heard him say, “I can’t wait to move out and get a job, I wish I was never born” which made me emotional as no child should be thinking like that (YW18). I had spoken to the teacher earlier about this student to understand his behavior better. She told me briefly that he has had issues with accepting his older sister getting more attention than him without disclosing too much information due to safeguarding rules. Buitelaar (1995) concluded that ‘children with autism and comparison children tended to react similarly to a separation from the parent with increased proximity-seeking behaviour’ (Bernabeietal.1998; Pantone and Rogers1984; Sigmanand Mundy1989; Sigman et al.1986; Sigman and Ungerer 1984). These ideas could support his attitude for crying and relating it to his family as he seeks that extra attention from them.
It happened just before break time, so his friends had left to go outside and play. I asked him if he wanted to play as a distraction. While he was on that break, I spoke with the teacher. She suggested that I write a letter to him explaining the situation and apologizing for what I had said, so I considered that and wrote him a letter in a professional manner. His mind was distracted by play during break time, and he didn’t think about it (TS 8.2, 8.4). When he came back and found the letter on his table, I communicated with him and pointed out that there was a letter on his table for him to read. Instead of saying it to his face to face because he had my words in front of him, he seemed to understand it better. This was just his way of understanding the situation by reading it and not visually seeing or speaking about it in front of everyone. He might consider that as embarrassing. After that, I helped him do a pizza activity in which he agreed that we made an excellent team. I gave him the choice of putting his toppings on (TS 4.5). He even told me politely not to mention his surname again and understood that I was not aware that I should not be saying it (YW 01).
Feelings
As Children with autism struggle with attention and suffer frustration and emotional control, I pictured myself in the child’s situation. It can be hard not having someone to listen to your needs as his parents focused most of their attention on the other child. When it reaches a point that he regrets being born and yet he is still at a tender age, then the frustration within the child must be channel out, or it will affect the life and educational performance of the child. A parent of a child should never wait for a doctor’s intervention but should take charge of their children’s disorder, for they spend a lot of time with their children.
I felt that I had been passive and overlooked the general behavior of the children. I thought that I was careless for a bit; had I asked before my actions towards the child, then maybe the situation would not have been weird as I was feeling. I felt I was the reason behind all the frustration the child had undergone, for I initially believed he was only throwing tantrums. Feeling guilty about the situation was part of why I tried to cheer him up and write the letter to address him. I had to heal him up.
Before attending the class, I had been involved and consulted many teachers on what to do and what not to. I felt I had covered everything that I needed to instructs the students. I thought they would appreciate it and that I would have bonded nicely with them as I love and adore children. All I intended was to guide and have a good time with them, and had I know that such a thing would occur, I would have done something better to avoid the situation. I thought the case saddened the people, the entire class, and I felt that I had to do something and regain their love. I believe the teacher in charge was pitying me as it was my first time and I had experienced a rough time. I think he wanted to guide me in the best path even though the damage was already done, and that is why he encouraged me to write the letter to the kid. By now, everyone has heard the story and the reasons why the child was acting out. By now, I think everyone has come to terms with how I contributed to the occasion. I recently asked one of the students in the school and the kid with autism what others were saying and told me that the school community was in the process of forgetting the entire incident, and they had forgiven my actions. Everyone has understood why I did what I did.
As I was consulting with the teacher, I could not stop thinking about how he viewed me as an inconsiderate instructor. It was my first time, and I had created chaos, and I think the children had already developed negative thoughts about me. I just pictured myself being summoned by a disciplinary committee and being stripped of my roles, yet it was my first time. What I had subjected the child to was more than torture. What aggravated the situation was calling him by his surname without knowing it was an unspoken rule in that class. I think of the problem as a necessary step for me to climb in my experience with children. Without the scenario, I would have always regarded every child as equal and overlooked cases like these. Previously I had never encountered such a case, and going on, I realize we are not always equal whether in thoughts, psychologically or mentally, and regardless of whoever we come across with, we should always consider their positions.
Evaluation
The good thing about this experience was that I came to this class to spotlight a preexisting condition. The child was suffering in silence, and I served to bring this issue to light. I think of myself as a person who intervened in the right moment before the child could grow up with these thoughts,s and who knows how it could affect what would happen if I had not brought out the child’s grievances. However, I feel wrong about this experience, for it occurred on my first day, the first day of my placement. Was it a sign of bad luck? That is what I kept asking myself for the following two weeks despite trying to distract myself as much as possible. To me, it was a sign of under qualification of unfitness to lead children, yet I had a passion for teaching and bringing out smiles in every child.
Even though the whole experience was ugly and not what I intended, I was happy with how the child reacted to my letter and allowed me to join him in the playground as I was trying to distract him. I was thrilled, for he seemed to have forgiven and accepted me back, something I desired. The older women at the place I was participating in blamed the entire fault on me and argued that I had been careless during the whole time. I felt terrible for I do not have any idea of how I should have anticipated the problem, and also, the child’s classmates did nothing to forewarn me. It was so saddening. The teacher saved my day. His advice to write the letter to the child was the best idea he came up with. It was the idea of the letter that turned everything around for the child reaccepted my advances.
Analysis
Everything went well beyond my expectations, for some teachers were supportive, especially the teacher who was in charge of the class. If it were not for his help, then the whole scenario would have played out differently. He helped me get over the experience for the next two weeks, and also notably, he was the one who urged me to write the letter. Even though things played out well in the end, I would receive criticism even from the young children during the first week after the incident, yet I thought I had ironed out to everyone what had happened. I had done everything in my capacity to convince everyone that it was not my fault that I did not have any prior information about the child’s disability.
Nevertheless, the older female teachers never stopped criticizing me and only prolonged my frustration over the entire incident. Regardless of the place or situation one is in, never make any judgment of a person. I misjudged the child, and it almost cost me my placement slot. The philosophy of the institute of education of UCL and its social pedagogy standards underlines clearly what a social pedagogy should do to ensure that whatever he or she is doing serves the child’s best interest. It nurtures the attitude of empathy and understanding of the child, and with this, I could have easily understood why the child was acting out.
Conclusion
Through this incident, I realized that I had a deep affection for children I never knew before. When the child was mad at me and unable to convince me, the stress and disappointment that filled me were enough to show me how I was concerned about them and reassured me of my career choice to work with children. It could have been positive if all the members around the school would work collaboratively and identify the children undergoing such stress. It was my first day in that class, yet I was able to identify an issue; what about if I had stayed for longer? The skill of understanding and listening for such kids requires someone to listen to their thoughts and need a shoulder to lean on, someone who will appreciate and comfort them. Such kids require some form of love to supplement the little received from the parents back at home. I could have gone back to class the following days, kept an eye on the child, and asked the administration to decide whether it was a better option to advise the parents on the child’s situation and what he has been lacking.
Action plan
I would first visit the class before my placement and get acquainted with the kids and the overall setting of the class. I think this way, for had I familiarised myself with the children, I would have avoided most of these problems. With other experiences, I will gain the required skills, such as being watchful and observant of the kids’ behavior and preventing the repetition of such scenarios. This time I would slow down on my approach to the students and make myself seem open and friendly towards them for children prefer having lovely and friendly people being around them for they look peaceful and calm
References
Rutgers, A. H., van Ijzendoorn, M. H., Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J., Swinkels, S. H., van Daalen, E., Dietz, C., Naber, F. B., Buitelaar, J. K., & van Engeland, H. (2007). Autism, attachment, and parenting: Comparing children with autism spectrum disorder, mental retardation, language disorder, and non-clinical children. Journal of abnormal child psychology, 35(5), 859–870. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-007-9139-y
Gibbs, G (1988). Learning by doing: a guide to teaching and learning methods. Oxford: Further Education Unit, Oxford Polytechnic.
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